This Goddamn squid.
I have no idea what possessed me to think that house training a cephalopod would be easy. There's ink everywhere and I just ruined my domestic partner's limited edition Frank Kosik Cure poster with it. Hell, he'll be in a little mascara-smeared ball all weekend over this, and will threaten suicide by eating a whole jar of Flintstone's Chewables. That's OK cause the next pet's gonna be even better.
I have a friend in the Congo who's sending me a new specimen for the old collection. Good Morning Mr. Marlburg! I'll have "Circus of Contagions" up and running by week's end. Ebola on the high wire, the high dive into the Petri sub-strate by HIV, a grand chariot race between Polio and Small Pox, of course Whooping Cough and Old Fashioned Croup have their Feats of Strength, and Rubella the Beautiful on her galloping Humbolt Squid. Goddamn it! There's fuckin' ink everywhere!