My Liver Has A Headache.

Good God what a weekend.

I last left you with the promise that Me and Sparkles was gonna get fucked up. This, in order, is what happened...

2 gallons of Watermelon Moonshine,
Somewhere in there a 8 cases of Black Label,
A whole bottle of smashed up Mini-Thins, 300 count, snorted,
23 blue pills Armando had,
Three white pills I had in an old shoe,
8 bottles of Boone's kiwi wine
A bottle of cooking sherry,
Vanilla extract,
The Freon outta of the neighbor's air conditioner, both sides, and across the street
The Freon outta of the neighbor's 1972 F100,
One bottle of banana Cisco...

OK, so it's the Cisco that fucks everything up. The wheels come off. That shit stops gravity. Maybe it increases it, I don't know, I just know that I was either standing up or falling down and the mandrill did nothing but jack off for 12 hours. I don't know if you've ever seen a baboon "Phone The Czar," but it's pretty gruesome. Not to mention he sounds like a coma victim off the respirator while he does it. Lemme tell you, that was a 72-hour bender for the record books.

Hey I'm real sorry about the Stinky Pete Woodlin story, I'll get to it, it ain't going no where. My life just got in the way of livin'.

I gotta go cause I'm gonna go do some medical tests. I mean I ain't conductin' 'em, they're payin' me to have 'em done to me. See you on Sunday, that's when I get back. Till then keep the stink end of yer fuck stick wet.

Feed the Ocelot, Lipstick and Sparkles.
Yers,
Laffo